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The Hard Truth about Severe Depression and Migraines

Noone saw it coming and not even myself could see the downword spiral because it happened over many many months before I hit rock bottom.  Depression is sneaky like that because most of us who suffer have a mask that we can put on whenever we need too.  My mask was “I’m fine, I can handle this, its my migraines that took everything from me”  I would go on to learn that I cannot blame everything on migraines and I really need to learn to live again.

Here is my story:

Today marks the first day since Aug 9th that I have been home alone.  On August 8th my depression and anxiety became so overwhelming that I could no longer function.  I no longer wanted to function.  I stopped walking, stopped paying bills, stopped taking care of my kids, and rarely left my house.  I started watching TV when I was awake just so I could have an outlet and the hours I was awake I was most likely high.  I have my medical marijuana license but I didn’t have any boundries for myself.  Pot was my first go to when ever I felt pain (which was whenever I was awake).

Another trigger into depression was the injury to my right shoulder back in November of last year.  I had torn the labrum half way off the bone and it had buckled back on itself and formed a cyst.  After a silly Urgent Care visit that put me in a sling and an even more useless trip to the ER where they put me in a nicer sling I was frustrated.  I was also in the middle of trying to establish a new Dr. after my Primary Care physician treated me so poorly in November that I had to find a new Dr.  By the time I got in to see her in January, she put me right into PT and shortly later ordered an MRI.  Surgery was in Feb and it was one of the hardest recoveries I have ever had to make.  I was so immobile that my days of not doing anything were now completely justified.  Then when I was finally making progress with my shoulder recovery, I was the passenger in a car accident where the driver pulled out into oncoming traffic and the other driver hit the passenger side of the vehicle.  I was hurting bad but only felt the need to make sure my friend was ok.  The EMT asked me once if I was ok and that was it.  And then I was left on the side of the road waiting for Dan to come and pick me up.  I was in complete shock and had no idea if anything was wrong with me…but the EMT’s didn’t seem too concerned, so I guess I figured I was fine too.  But my shoulder felt horrible, just when it was finally starting to recover from surgery.  So I finally had my Surgeon order an MRI and sure enough I had a new injury in the spot the seat belt was…a mild tear in the rotator cuff.  And I felt so defeated and alone.  I stopped driving both because of the accident and a series of new migraines that act like a seizure or a severe panic attack.  But most of all I was afraid to drive which isolated myself even more.  I felt hopeless, useless, and helpless.  Over the course of many months, maybe even my entire migraine Journey, I had convinced myself I could do nothing (Laundry, cooking, cleaning, basic hygiene (I no longer brushed my teeth, showered or even got dressed for the day) and began staying in bed all day…rarely even coming out to have dinner with my family.  In fact I had started to starve myself, only eating if someone brought me food.

I no longer had any desire to live and I became suicidal, making plans on how I might get rid of the pain of migraine and to take away the burden I had become to everyone around me.  These are the thoughts I was having and had no idea what to do about them.  On Aug. 8th I had my first complete mental break down and decided I would continue down the starvation plan…I wasn’t hungry anyway.  Plus this would give me more time to say good bye to my family and friends.  I no longer wanted to be alive.  On Aug 9th I had a second mental breakdown and I could no longer stop thinking about ways I could kill myself.  I hated me, I hated who I had become and I wanted to be done.  When the plan of using meds to overdose became a thought I could no longer stop, I hit rock bottom.  I posted something on FB that was an indicator to my cousin Kate to call me…she knew I was in trouble.  By the end of the phone call, I had promised to call my dr.  and I owe her my life for that call.  I did just that and my dr got me in that day at 4:00pm.  From there I was sent to St. Lawrence ER for an evaluation (terrible, most awful ER visit I had ever had..which didn’t help the situation). And then suddenly a tech came in and said they had a bed for me upstairs.  I had to give everything to Dan and say good bye very quickly.  I was soooooo terrified and they took my phone.  I couldn’t believe how mad, terrified, scared, sad, alone, in an environment I only knew from TV (and they generally only show the bad stuff by the way).  We were all people just reaching out for help in a time of need,

So I was wheeled down many corridors, sobbing uncontrollably because I had no idea what to expect.  I had only seen Adult Psych wards on TV and couldn’t possibly imagine that I would need that kind of help.  But I was checked in with just the clothes on my back at 1:00 in the morning.  I didn’t have my night meds, my ear plugs, my pillow…nothing to comfort me, so I curled up on the bed and cried myself to sleep.  I had 3 roommates which i was really concerned about because of my migraines.  I didn’t know if I would be able to make contact with anyone on the outside through phone or computer and now I was truly isolated from the world.  At least that’s what I thought when I arrived.  I was just plain terrified and still having all of these terrible thoughts that I had no idea what to do with.  I cried a lot the first few days.

Over the course of the next couple of days I made friends and was finally able to socialize and talk about what was going on.  I was able to use the computer once in a while so I could reach out to a few people.  And I am sooooo grateful for those who took the call and came to support me while I was in patient.  Of course Dan was there every time I needed him.  But a few other friends came when I needed their support.  Stephanie and Jared thank you so much for being there and looking at all my artwork and for all the hugs and listening ears.  I began to feel validated again, like I had friends that would really miss me if I were to take my life.  My new Pastor Heather came to visit me twice and I can’t even begin to tell you the comfort that brought me.  She brought her Bible and helped me to find scripture to hold on to.  And then my dear friend Mindy came on the perfect day.  We shared and cried and made sure that we knew we were there for each other through thick and thin.   And 100% Thanks to  my mom and dad who came so willingly and without a thought to come and get the kids.  They took care of them the entire time I was in the hospital.  My mom was there when I needed a lending ear to tell of the things I learned and how the program was really helping me see past the migraines and to work on me.  Selfish, maybe, but if I can’t take care of myself I can’t help take care of my family.  So thank you to everyone that was there for me.  And I can’t forget to thank all of you who offerred and gave me rides before I conquered my fear of driving.  Thank you to Liz from church and I look forward to going swimming with you on Wednesdays.  Thank you to Kris for being there for me in the midst of a crazy week for you to pick me up in the morning and bring me home on another day.  I really enjoyed our chats in the car and for the smiles on your kids faces 🙂  And to Marci for the rides and the company and understanding…and especially for the coffee and treats…that meant a lot to me.  It turns out that I have a lot of supportive people in my life…I just need to reach out and hopefully have them reach out to me when I can’t.

After my 10 day in patient stay I was able to transfer to a Partial Patient program which allowed me to go home at night and keep working on my new routine for the morning and night.  One of the biggest take away messages I got from both in patient and Partial patient programs is that I need to take care of me, so I can be there for others.  I started getting up, brushing my teeth, showering, mouthwash, doing my hair and making my bed (there is something strange about making your bed…it is an easily attainable goal that starts my day off right).  Making my bed also helps me really evaluate if I need a nap or just want to take one.  And then I would have to make myself eat breakfast.  Eating was very difficult while in the hospital because my stomach was not used to breakfast/lunch/dinner at a set time and the GF menu was something that you had to be creative with (like cottage cheese and oil/vinegar dressing…don’t knock it until you’ve tried it).  haha  But it worked 🙂  I also have a night time routine now.  I take my meds, brush teeth/floss/mouthwash, and while the meds are starting to kick in I am reading my Bible and a devotional at night.  I turn my phone off before I start getting ready and then try not to look at it again.

After 3 weeks in the St. Lawrence adult psychiatric unit both in patient and partial patient, I can finally say that I feel alive again.  I am utilizing more methods of treating my migraine besides just MMJ which feels good.  It is always there when things get bad, but I don’t want to be high all the time.  In fact I have had it sitting in front of me since 11:00 this morning trying to determine whether or not I really needed the relief.  Instead I went in and took a nice long hot bath with gentle piano music playing and got ready for my day.  Even though I was a little late getting going this morning, the routine was a comfort.  It also helped that Mindy happened to be online and she was able to get me through the overwhelming feeling of “I’m alone and I don’t know what to do”  I went outside right away when I was feeling that way and it really helped.  I kept chatting with Mindy while I walked our yard and picked mulberries and an apple from our neighbors tree that was offered to us at any time.  Then we talked about easy go to breakfast meals that I always have on hand so that breakfast doesn’t have to be such a hard meal to eat.

I have learned so much through the program and made some wonderful friends that I feel will help and support me stay the course of getting me better so I can be there for others.  I learned how to laugh again…uncontrollably, get in trouble type of laughing.  And I was able to bring that to the people I was with.  I forgot how much I like making people laugh and laughing myself.  I found a new way to go swimming (i’m going to try a snorkle).  I learned that I can live and manage my migraines at the same time.  It won’t be easy, and will take continual work, but I feel like I am finally on the right path after a long path down into a severe depressive state.  I can hope that I will never be at that low again, but if I ever am, I know where to go, and who to contact.

Please if anyone is struggling with severe depressive disorder and are having suicidal thoughts, I am here to lend a listening ear like so many have done for me.

I will continue to blog about my experience and new things I am incorporating into my life as I go.  I am really hoping that I can get back to blogging…it was such a comfort when I blogged before.

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I’m Back and I’m feeling great…temporarily that is!

This post is just to get me back to my blog.  It has been entirely too long and there is so much to catch up on.  I tend to do things gung ho for a period of time and then burn out and that is exactly what happened with my blog.  I am really hoping to get back to it, especially during this time of reprieve.

Just a quick migraine recap…I went to Mayo and they put me on Neurontin stepping me up to 2400mg/day.  I successfully made that step up and had my first 8 day window with no migraine and then it came back full force.  I was also prescribed prednisone for 2 months starting at 80mg/day for a week and stepping down 10mg per week.  I started the prednisone on June 8th and have been on it for 22 days.  And let me tell you I FEEL FANTASTIC!!!  I feel like I could do anything, go anywhere, be anyone, etc.  I even went Jet skiing for the first time which by the way brought on a major migraine regardless of all the meds I am on…so I still have to be careful.

But the one thing I am so very much enjoying is reconnecting with my husband and 2 kids.  They have missed me and I have missed them and it wasn’t until I started the prednisone that it truly sunk in that I have been completely absent from their lives for the past year and a half.  Yes, I made veiled attempts to be with them in the same room, but there was always this anxiety that a sound they would make would trigger a migraine, so I could never be fully present with them.  And now I am able to snuggle, spend time with and not be the snarky mom I have been for the past year.  Yes I still get frustrated with my 5 and 10 year old of course, but I don’t feel like I am going to strangle their necks because they dropped a marble on the floor.

I just feel happy!  I don’t think you can truly understand happiness and joy unless you have had it taken away and for that I can be thankful for the trials and tribulations I have been through over the course of the past year and a half.

I don’t look forward to the end of the prednisone trial (2 months), but at the same time I really don’t think about it much because I am truly able to live in the moment and feel happiness and relief.

I have lots to catch you up on: end of year school activities I got to partake in, vacation, dealing with migraine and kids on summer break fears and so much more.  So keep an eye out for more to come!  Sorry for the hiatus but it is good to be back!!!

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Roller Coaster Weeks of May

Week of May 9th: I was still on prednisone until Wednesday.  But I was exhausted every day.  Gideon ended up staying home with a fever Tuesday through Thursday and we pretty much laid around during that time.  My head pain may have been low, but my body was completely out of energy.  So we sat, watching TV, playing on our electronics, napping a lot, even Gideon.  Head pain actually remained low until Saturday, but finally on Wednesday, I got some energy back and so did Gideon, but was still running a low grade fever so I kept him home one more day.  We had a fun day of going to lunch, Walmart, lots of garage sales and then to Miss Tammy’s (his daycare before I lost my job).  Man was I whipped when I got home though.  Friday started my day with a sore throat and pain into the chest.  I was thinking it was a yeast infection from the prednisone especially because I had it down there and on a place on my stomach…so not fun.  I just felt crappy all day.  I tried to go into town, but only lasted an hour and then back to bed for me.  I woke Saturday with a migraine starting but didn’t let that get me down…at least with the help of Imitrex it didn’t get me down.  So we packed in the car and went to a few garage sales and had lunch out.  By Sunday I was completely exhausted and slept almost all day.  Migraine most of the day when I woke in spurts.  I did rally in the evening to get the kitchen cleaned, the boys to clean their bedrooms and bathrooms and organized the laundry to fold and hang…it was really beginning to pile up.

Week of May 16th: Monday in bed all day with a horrible migraine for which I finally had to take a Toradol shot just to take the edge off.  Tuesday I woke with the migraine, but took Amerge ( a Noratriptan that takes quite a while to take effect but works for a long time) and went back to bed until 1:30pm.  I got up showered and felt like I had some energy back again.  I was supposed to meet a friend for a late lunch/ice cream but that fell through, so I13265911_10154115930606897_534315005628657821_n went and ate at Taco Bell for a late lunch by myself.  I ran a few errands and hit Goodwill for a few amazing finds…Body Glove surf suit for Gideon $8 and it fits perfect, white leather Keds for $4 for me which is what I was looking for and a pair of garden shoes for $4 and I love them, they are bright green and make me happy 🙂 And then went crazy and folded all the laundry, hung up hanging clothes put it all away..and if that wasn’t enough I emptied out my entire closet to make room for all of  my clothes that not only fit but were some amazing garage sale finds and to make room for my new addiction: LulaRoe.

The rest of this week is a mystery to me really.  I woke up on Wednesday with a great deal of energy and very little head pain (1/2).  So I called my friend Mindy and we went to lunch and hung out all afternoon and chatted all day.  Then in the evening the family went to Josiah’s school for a walk-a-thon type thing and I walked 1 1/2 miles.  I was so scared…I knew I would end up with a migraine that night or the next morning, but the mystery is…I didn’t.

So Thursday I woke up feeling ready for the day and spent the entire afternoon with my friend Carrie, hitting garage sales and Meijer towards the end of the day.  Friday I went to Josiah’s field day at school for 3 hours which was so much fun and I am so glad I was able to go and participate in something this year with the schools.

Then went to ready care because a pain in my neck, possibly lymph nodes had been bothering me, he put me on antibiotics and sent me on my way. I slept until 3:30, visited with my parents and then we all headed in to Gideon’s school for his school Carnival. And again I was so pleased and excited that I got to participate in something with the kids for their school.

Little to no head pain all day and into the evening.  I did do a Toradol shot, but that is because my body was aching 🙂  Then my parents took the kids and Dan and I just hung out all weekend, hitting a few garage sales.  Saturday night we hung out with our friends Stephanie and Jared until 1:30 in the morning.  Still no head pain.  I was even wearing my regular glasses without the tint.

Same for Sunday…I did have a bad reaction to food, but other than that another great day.  It’s a mystery!  I was actually having feelings of guilt because I had gone so long without a migraine.  How weird is that?  I was also very confused…was this going to last, was the medicine working, I just didn’t know.

Week of May 23rd: Monday was another great day.  I spent most of the day relaxing at home though just in case.  But it was nice and quiet and had no responsibilities that day and that felt good..no where to go!  Then as I was on FB a notification came up from one of the virtual garage sale sites and I just happened to click on it.  It was a piece of property.  10 acres of land, with great hunting potential.  I contacted the owner and asked if we could take a look at the property.  So after we had all eaten, we headed out 14.5 miles from our house was this beautiful piece of land.  Oh my goodness, we were instantly in love.  Rolling hills, woods, the view, the potential to maybe build some day, photography potential.  So we walked all the way to the back of the property which was quite long.  When we got to the wooded area it was tough to walk because of all the prickers, so Josiah and I chose a different path and we ended up in the swamp.  It took all of my energy to get to the back of the property and then I was digging for extra energy to get back.  We saw 4 deer and a rabbit in our short time there.  The sun was setting and we were in love.  We didn’t really think about how we would pay for the land, just how beautiful it was and the potential it had.

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And then I had no more guilt, I knew the answer to the questions I was asking myself…the13241196_10154132262611897_3871821648081814738_n head pain returned and with a vengeance.  Ugh.  I went to bed with the pain rising and woke with the head pain at a 5.  I took an Imitrex and went back to bed because I had a hair apt later that day and of course I had to make it 🙂  By the time I 13233015_468205046703984_2698938692415491479_ngot home the meds were worn off and I was back to bed and in bed all day Wed and Thursday.  Friday, I woke with the migraine still, but took Amerge because I was done with the pain.  Luckily by 1:30 when I woke up the meds had done their job.  So I went in to town to see the back about financing the property (after chatting with Jennifer our realtor, she told us that there was a possibility of financing and I made some calls and found out that was indeed true).  I got all the information about getting pre approved for the loan and what it would take to get the loan.  20% down…ugh.  If we got the property for $32,000 with realtor fees we would need $7000 to put down.  No idea really how that could happen.  So I put that aside and started driving until I found a garage sale sign which lead me over towards the property.  I decided to go look at it again.  When I got out of the car, I felt this amazing peace.  So I decided to pray about this property and if it was to be in our future or not and to please make it clear 😉  One can always ask!  And wouldn’t you know it, when I left the property, 2 houses down there was a garage sale.  If you know me, or have at the very least read this thread, I love to garage sale.  It must be a sign, right?  🙂  hehe j/k  I won’t disregard it, but I won’t put an offer in based upon that “sign” 🙂  I picked up the kids from school (a treat since they have to ride the bus and walk home) and then picked up pizza.  My parents met us at the house and took the kids off for the weekend.  After they left, Dan and I sat out front and just enjoyed the peace and quiet and listened to the birds and talked about our day without interruption.  And then the guy next door started mowing…inside I go.  Allergies are kicking my butt this year.  So now to spend Memorial Day weekend however it takes us.  But I will gather all the necessary documents needed for the pre approval for sure.

 

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Mother’s Day Weekend

It was such a blessing to spend so much time with my family but it was a very surreal weekend this Mother’s Day Weekend. It was as if I got to step out of my sluggish body and head pain ridden ornery self and got to be this happy, fun LulaRoe legging wearing, master garage saling woman this weekend. It was magical.

Friday night: I love that Gideon is still young enough for back rubs and snuggles. The best way to spend quality mother/son time for me…the hugs are healing and he loves his back rubbed…it just happens that he falls asleep very quickly when I do rub his back, so I just held him.  He will not be small enough much longer to do this.

Saturday we all hung out for the morning and then went in to town to garage sale and man did we hit a ton of sales (see Garage Sale Addiction Post for more on that).  Gideon ended up with 2 of the best things; a 4 piece suit which he loved and had to put on right away when we got home and a game with many interesting additions to the box.   As soon as he put on his suit he had me taking video of him doing dance moves…very funny!  And then my mom asked if I got any pictures of him in his new suit…good thinking mom.  No I hadn’t, but I was still up for a few pictures and he was so excited to have his pictures taken that I definitely took the opportunity to do so!

Sunday morning @ 7:30 I was woken up very quietly to ask help buttoning up Gideon’s pants, then shirt, then vest of his 4 piece suit.  After he was all dressed he climbed into bed and played on his ipad, making me a new season 😉

I came out to the living room around 10:00 and Gideon was right there asking to play one of his new games from a garage sale.  As far as the game goes, all the pieces were there but 1, so that is pretty good for a used kids game…but it was all the extra stuff that was in the box that was so strange:IMG_8589[1]

  • a little gun
  • instructions for a roku
  • a used pencil top erasure
  • AA battery
  • AAA battery
  • paper clip
  • 2 fake fingernails
  • paddle and ball
  • wrapper for a cough drop
  • 2 rubber bands
  • string
  • a piece of wood
  • metal tool of some sort

After playing the game for a little while I asked Gideon if he wanted me to cut his hair because he had been asking for a short hair cut, so I got the clippers out, got him into play clothes, and cut his hair. He was definitely due!  And I was so glad I felt good enough to cut it!

He said he was going to wear to wear his suit today and he did, but he had to have a bow tie, so after his hair cut I took him to my photo props and found him a bow tie.  Then I sent him to the shower and he got his suit and bow tie back on.  It was Mother’s Day after all.  He made me want to dress up a bit too 😉  Then we had to take pictures with his new hair cut and with the bow tie…it was so wonderful to feel well enough to be able to do so.  Josiah didn’t want a hair cut or his picture taken!   Growing up!

Josiah shows me his love is ways that can’t often be photographed and he is getting old enough that he isn’t always up for pictures for fun. He prays for me every night, he gives hugs and is always concerned about me. I have been blessed with two very living children. What more could a mother ask for 😘💕

It was a wonderful weekend.  We went garage saling, shopping and out to dinner.  But even better I got to be a mom, a photographer, a hair cutter, a mom, a photographer, a garage saler and a mom and it was delightful!

And then we were all tuckered out from a fun long weekend of Migraine free mom!

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Happy Mother’s Day to me and to my mom!

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Garage Sale Addict/LulaRoe Addict

Apparently when I feel well I tend to shop: both online and at garage sales.  I have always loved garage sales and auctions ever since I was little.  And it has been such a bummer that I haven’t been able to go much last summer.  Online shopping for LulaRoe is a new addiction but it is also difficult to do when I have migraine.  So much to scroll through, so much to look at that it is overwhelming.  But this weekend I was taking prednisone for a 5 day booster pack to give myself a break from constant pain.  That didn’t quite work out the way I was hoping, but with the help of my abortive Imitrex I was able to both shop online and go to garage sales all day Saturday and back to one on Sunday.

The first group of sales, flea markets and goodwill stops that I made, I scored big time with 18 dress shirts, 1 maxi dress, 5 summer dresses, 4 knee length skirts, 1 scarf, 1 sweatshirt, 2 Capri pants, a pair of jeans, and 2 pajama shirts…bring on summer.  35 items for $60.  Now I just need to feel well to wear them.

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Then on Saturday we hit a huge Subdivision Sale and went to probably 25 sales, but one of them was a super hit for me: I got 6 camisoles, 12 dress shirts all Lane Bryant $13 total. Happy Mothers Day to me! I Guess I better start looking for more pants 😀 But I definitely need to empty my closet to make room.

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And then just in case, since they had so many clothes still left, I asked if we could go to the sale on Sunday…it was Mother’s day after all 🙂  And sure enough they were just packing up, but they let me look through everything again.  This time I ended up with: 2 capri pants, 2 dress pants, 1 pair of jeans, 12 sweater tanks of all colors and sizes, 6 more really cute tops and 6 sweaters/cardigans for a total of $23.

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Now I need to clean out my closet to make room for all of these fun new clothes.  I could have put together so many wardrobes together this weekend for adult men/women and kids. What an awesome subdivision sale!!

AND THEN CAME LULAROE: I was gifted a pair back in April and I wore them all of the time.  Well last week I was invited to an online party for Lularoe and I thought I would check it out.  My friend Mindy and cousin Teresa also joined me…we had so much fun chatting and showing either other what we got.  My first 3 leggings LOVE them:

And then there was another sale during the week last week and I bought two more pair of leggings:

Should I have stopped, yep!  But I was feeling so well over the weekend and there was a huge 30 vendor online sale that I bought 2 more leggings and a maxi skirt:

AND NOW I HAVE TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Although I can’t wait to get them in the mail 🙂

So the next time I feel well again, I will have to go through my entire closet and clean it out.  Soooo many clothes that don’t fit anymore since Migraine hit and so many old clothes with holes.  It’s time for a fresh start.  Luckily my mom loves organizing as much as I do…just need to find a time when I am not down with migraine and my dresser won’t look like this anymore:

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Prednisone–>I always over due it!

Thursday May 6th: First day of prednisone 20mg!  I should have taken my friend Jennifer’s advice today when I felt so good. On the one hand it was a wonderful day. Started my day being able to fold some laundry and get some phone calls made. I went to a garage sale, had a good Dr apt, back to garage sale to get some amazing clothes that almost all fit. That’s always a big win. Then I texted Dawn to see what she was up too and we both ended up with beautiful pedicures. I had a thumb drive to drop off to Meaghan  (hopefully you got it) and realized I was 2 miles from where she lived to drop it off. One more thing crossed off of my list. I had heard back from my friend Carrie that she was nearby too so I stopped and chatted with her and her mom Ruthanne for an hour or so. On my way home I stopped at our old day care family and all the little babies just called me in. And I was off to pick up the boys just in time to get them off the bus, but talked on the phone to my mom  for the entire drive. Did I tell you that talking is a major migraine trigger. Dan had a water loss and it was beautiful outside so the boys got the burn pile done and then got out water balloons and the launcher. We had a fun time just hanging out. And if that wasn’t enough for the night we met up with Dan in Potterville for dinner at Charlie’s Bar and Grill.  Then home to put the boys to bed and crash. My head had started to hurt already but I was able to fall asleep.

Friday May 7th: Now here is when I should have listened to Jennifer, I should not have done so much on the first day of prednisone…it’s a trick, all the energy was from the pill. So I would pay for all the fun and activity and talking.  I woke with the most excrutiating pain I have felt in a long time. The pain was coming from all directions in my head. I felt like I was under attack. I tried my IceKap but it made this one worse. Finally after taking my meds including prednisone and putting warm heat on my head, I fell asleep. When I woke the pain was down but not very functional. So today I rest! And Mindy I am so sorry I can’t come for a visit today. Hopefully next week.

My neighbor also stopped by to drop off an ottoman that I bought at her garage sale and forgot to take. We got talking about migraines (imagine that) but she suffers too 😓. So I had to show her my icekap but that meant showing our house and talking for a half an hour, plus the house is a disaster but she understood. Sad to hear of another friend whose migraines are getting more frequent and more difficult to treat. Selfishly glad to have a neighbor to talk to about migraine stuff but it sucks for both of us at the same time.

13133092_10154089587201897_5739522844633282669_n (1)I did realize something today. Well not really today, but something new about one of my migraines; the one that hit this morning. Laying down isn’t the answer for this one. As soon as I stood up the pain lessened. So I made myself a Mac and cheese cup and am sitting on the porch enjoying this beautiful day. Migraines are so complex especially when you have varying types but I am so glad I decided to stand up and go outside. But now the birds beautiful songs are starting to get to me. 😕. It was still lovely getting outside but still relaxing.